Issue 03 - Adult Friendship or Pure Disrespect? Let's talk about it.

I understand that in our 20's, we are more focused on our career or academics and it isn't rare that we neglect nurturing our friendships in the pursue of building a better future. People are busy. They don't have the luxury of time to go to a weekly hangout. Heck, sometimes they don't have time to send a simple text of 'How are you?' and that's okay cause less communication doesn't mean less love. 

And I get it. That's why I take no offense when my messages go unreplied for days or when they post on their social media but my messages are still on delivered. Sometimes people just don't have the energy to interact with you and it isn't that deep.

But when my friend comes to me to talk about her problems, usually boy problems (cuz she decided im a certified love doctor), and I try my best to support her and give her advices, suggestions on how she should act on her problem and my opinions on why her man is acting a certain way then she just...left. No thanks. No nothing. Just radio silence. 

And there goes my previous messages left in the dust. 

If this happened only once or twice, I can still excuse it but this has happened way too many times that I'm starting to feel hurt by it. 

I felt like I'm only being used as an outlet and not as a friend cause there isn't a two way communication here. She treats our chatroom as a diary or chatgpt where she can send in her complaint or question then get a reply then she never has to reply back. 

The final straw was when she spammed 43 messages to me talking about her problems with this one particular boy and I reply back within 3 hours (cause it was a lot to take in before I find the words to reply back and I think replying back 3 hours later is already late) and she left me on delivered for 3 days. But when she came back it was like I never send a message at all, she didn't reply nor acknowledged my previous messages. Instead, she talks about a new different topic.

I feel so used. I don't feel respected. Everytime she asks about what she should do about her problem, I advise her to do this and that, and she go do the fucking opposite which leads to an undesired result. And who does she come crying to when that happens? To me! She makes me fix that problem and left me to pick up the pieces when it was because of her that shit hit the fan. 

This would not happen if she had just follow my advise and not do whatever the fuck she did that makes thing worse. 

Now when her name pops up on my notification, all I feel is dread. 

If this is what we call "mature" adult friendship then go to fucking hell cause there's no reciprocity, no mutual respect and it doesn't serve me in any way at all. 

With anger, and still a little love, J